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For most of my life, I thought I was the only person in the world who struggled with this, so I am relieved to see that maybe, just maybe, unrequited attraction and fear of rejection are kind of universal.
“Why are we so ashamed, anyway? Why does ‘liking’ someone always make us feel embarrassed, like we need to hide it or treat it with kid gloves?”
“You have more courage than me,” he said in response.
I had just confessed to someone that I had begun to think of him as more than a friend.
The feeling was not mutual, but having courage was my consolation prize. It’s good to be courageous, but I hadn’t thought of my bold proclamation as an act of courage – I thought of it more as an act of impatience on my own part.
I didn’t want to wait and see what, if anything, would unfold with the right portions of time and space and dare-I-say destiny. I couldn’t quite muster the energy to do the socially acceptable thing, to stick it out, to drop hints and pick up on semi-subtle cues. I just wanted to know where I stood, for better or for worse.
The quick way. Ripping off the band-aid.
For the record, you know you’re not terribly…
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